Memories of the Past

Today I woke up with lots on my mind. I cannot help but think about things that have happened in my life over the last year and a half. I don't want to share anything too personal on here so I will try to talk about my thoughts without giving much information.



The other night we watched a movie that brought up memories about some things in the past. It was difficult to watch the movie. I kept quiet and tried to enjoy it but wished I had not seen most of it. It just brought too many memories to mind. I am not going to say what the movie was. It was supposed to be a chick flick, I guess, but I didn't like it. It didn't help that I was looking on facebook at the time and saw some pictures from a friends' Fourth of July party. I enjoyed most of the pictures but there were a few that also triggered memories I did not want to think about. It was difficult and I had wished I never looked at them. I am a fan of facebook. It makes me feel a little more in touch with the friends from different places I have lived. It just stinks when you see things that cause sadness or memories you would like to forget.



Life goes on and thankfully they are just thoughts and memories to be set aside and given to God. I am thankful I can give it to God. How do you let something go when there is still something major to be dealt with? Do I write that person a letter and try to communicate? How long do I wait for communication and will it ever come? Do I even want to be contacted? I don't even know. I try to just give it to God. It is however easier said then done. Does this mean I have a lack of faith in Christ? Am I struggling with letting go and letting God be in control? I will continue to pray and ask God to make the opportunity if it is what He wants. If He does not want to provide the opportunity I pray God will take away my desire to bring it to a close.



I wonder sometimes if I have not dealt fully with everything as I should have. I felt like the problem at hand was dealt with and is repairing. I just am worried about my change/growth from the experience. Did I deal with the situation as I should have? Was I just saying words to appease others? Was the way I reacted what I thought I had to do, or what God wanted? Am I feeling all of these thoughts because I have more to do?



I know I have grown. I have learned from the past. Maybe I just need a reminder of God's love and grace and the reflection on these situations will provide it.