Fall Has Arrived

I just realized I have not written in a long time. This is probably because I have not taken the time to go somewhere and write. I find it easier to go somewhere else and write verses doing it at home. I get far too distracted by the things I should be getting done at home.

I have been in a rather domestic mood lately. I canned 25 jars of Salsa last weekend, yea! I spent a good portion of Monday cleaning my house. Deep down cleaning. There is still so much to clean to prepare for the upcoming winter months. I enjoy the extra cleaning in a strange sort of way. I just wish it would stay looking clean for longer than an hour. I guess having kids makes it a little more difficult.

I wanted to start working on some crafts for the shop in Pennsylvania http://www.willowtreeshop.net/ and realized I had some major cleaning to do in my garage before I could start! I worked most of the afternoon in there getting summer items put away and cleaning up stuff we should have put away the first time we used it. So now I should be able to go in there and work on my crafts. It is hard to focus on making snowmen and other Christmas items but I know I have to get them done soon.

I really was hoping to go to PA this fall. I have a few friends who are going to Lancaster, PA for an overnight trip and I so wish I could go. I do okay most days not fully missing my life in PA but there are days like today where I miss is greatly. I miss my friends, church, the shop and more. I think it is harder when I know of a possible opportunity to go and I cannot go for financial reasons. Money stinks! I am thankful for what I do have and realize I have more than many others in the world. I guess I just am a little homesick for PA.  However, it really does get harder and harder to visit there. It is hard to explain unless you have moved like that before. You want to go home when you visit...but you are not really home. It is strange...no other way to say it.

I am actually going to go to the garage and work now. I will write more soon. It is nice to be able to write things down sometimes. It helps put things into perspective.

Thanks for reading,

Steph

Shop of My Own

You know the movies set in New York City with the woman or man who owns a coffee shop, delicatessen or small bookstore? Movies like You've Got Mail, Stranger than Fiction and so on? I know I would never want to live in the city but I really would like to have that type of situation. I think it would be neat to be able to walk down a street to my own shop. I am not a morning person but I would love the feeling of walking into my shop and preparing it for the day. To interact with people on a daily basis. Have a place like a little coffee shop where people come for a quick cup or those who are planning on spending several hours to sit, think and so on. People you can build friendships with as they frequent the shop. I would want people to feel welcome to come and "hang out" or spend time reading or meeting with a friend and so on. I would meet writers and musicians...everyday people looking for their place in life, and so on. I would love the opportunity to get to know people within that setting.

I always have wanted and longed for some type of business of my own. I may not have a place in a big city but I do hope to open something like what I described someday. I wonder when "someday" will happen. Why do I have to wait? Why is it so hard to take steps toward what I want? I KNOW finances is huge...but I think it is also fear and lack of faith. Or is it?

I would love to have people come and play guitar, sing and use their talents too. Maybe selling artwork made by local artisans or pastries by a local baker. It would be really awesome...Maybe I should write the novel about a coffee shop in the middle of nowhere...and the interactions of the character with people in the coffee shop...who knows. See my last post if you are wondering what I am talking about. :-)

NaNoWriMo

Matt was teasing me yesterday and said I should write a novel (This was after I finished reading New Moon). He said November was National Novel Writing Month...or NaNoWriMo. I looked it up and it actually is something. Check out the website... http://www.nanowrimo.org/



I guess the goal is to write a 50,000 word novel by midnight November 30th. I guess you are not allowed to start writing the novel until the 1st but you are able to put an outline together. You sign up and get entered into the group of writers. If you meet the 50,000 words by November 30th you will receive recognition for doing so. I think it would be neat...but what in the world would I write to be interesting for others. I guess if you ever wanted to write a novel it would be a good time.



I told Matt it would give me an excuse to come to Panera and other coffee shops so I could write. I will let you know if I come up with an actual thing to write a novel about. I have a few ideas...but I doubt I could come up with 50,000 words...plus I don't believe I am the best writer in the world.



Ha, Ha! Thanks Matt for the info!

Does anyone read this? Please let me know if you are reading my nonsense!

Thanks,

Steph

Twilight!!

Okay, so I guess I am a little Obsessed! I began reading the Twilight series at the beginning of June. I do NOT like to read normally but I was talked into reading the books. I was hooked quite quickly! I read all 4 Large Books in a week and a half. I read every spare minute I had. It was crazy. Well, now I am reading it for the second time. It is nuts. I am already about done with the second book. I have watched the movie 3 times and I made my husband download the soundtrack. It is crazy!! I even bought a T-shirt at Wal-Mart...it was on clearance too! It is like the one posted here but it is a Woman's shirt and it is white.

I am not sure what it is about the series. I just go sucked into it. I don't think it has much to do with the vampire and wearwolf thing...it is probably the love story...but it is so different than anything I have read before. The first time I read the books it was like I could here Bella narrating as I went. I think the style in which Stephenie Meyer writes is so captivating.

I was so intrigued by the love story between Edward and Bella...I know it is fantasy but it is just so powerful. I guess for most women they dream about the "prince" that could make her whole. To make her ordinary self be something special in someone else's eyes. I just think the way the characters develop it just seems so, I don't know...I cannot explain it.

Everyone I have talked to ... except for my mom, has been captivated by the story and read it quickly. Most people read it within two weeks. I just highly recommend the series!! Let me know what you think, I would love to hear your comments!

Steph

Panera and ...stuff!

I am at Panera again. I really enjoy coming here. I dropped my kids off at a VBS and now have a short time to myself. I spend thins time gettting caught up on some emails and also getting my coupons cut and organized. I think it is nice to have some time to do these things. I could do these things at home but somehow it is nicer to be here.

I don't have much to talk about today. Okay, maybe I do...I have had a long month dealing with Lice. I have been embarrassed to talk about it to most people. My daughter picked up lice about a month ago from who knows where. Anyways, I treated all of us, except for Matt since he is bald :-), and checked her hair over and over. I had given her seveal mayo treatments, an olive oil treatment and so forth. I washed everything in her room, sheets, pillows, curtains, etc. I vacuumed everything and thought I was good. I was beginning to check her hair less often, other than twice a day...and thought we were out of the woods. I found a nit here and there so I was starting to worry that I missed something. I treated her and myself again...even though I never found it in mine. Well, one day I was shopping with my kids...already NOT a fun afternoon and I looked at my son...He had it! Ugh!! I was so upset. He had it all over his hair. He mentioned for the first time his hair was itchy that day but, he had it everywhere...that must have been why I would find a nit or two in her hair.

Then I found out my in-laws and niece's had it. I was so embarrassed and upset. They all treated themselves and it seems like it was taken care of. Then On following Friday...a week later I found a bug in her hair...I had been checking her hair everyday for a week...so I don't know why she had it again!!?? So on Friday I treated hair again with that VERY expensive shampoo stuff. Ugh!! My friend came over and helped...Thanks Lora!! I now have washed EVERYTHING in Makenna's room...or at least they are bagged and ready to be cleaned...I could use a few washers and dryers lately! I bagged up everything that could possibly hold a nit. I washed everything in her drawers...even all the socks! I have changed the sheets twice since Friday, washed the towels everyday and even washed Barbie Doll and Baby Doll clothes. I still have to wash everything in Ryan's closet...but he does not venture in there too often...so it probably is safe...but still as a precaution, I will do it!

I have had her hair in braids and check both of their hair everyday. I never did find anything else in His hair after I treated him the first time...but I treated him again. Ugh. The only home remedy I didn't try was Listerine...which may come next...BUT lets hope it doesn't or I will Lose it!!

Steph

Enjoying time at Panera

I am sitting here in Panera Bread enjoying my time by myself. My kids are in Bowling Green today with their grandparents. I have the entire day to myself...a strange and unusual day. I am eating Broccoli Cheddar soup in a bread bowl. I love eating that. I will probably regret it later because I will get a stomach ache from the milk in the soup. Plus, I ran with my dog this morning so all the calories burned will be counted out before I finish the soup...yet it is soooo yummy.

I am not sitting in my usual spot here in Panera. I got here a little too early, not quite past the lunch rush. I like to sit in the small booths near the soda machine and the restroom. This way I can refill my soda and then empty the soda without much trouble. I like to see the different types of people coming into Panera. There are those on a business lunch...dressed well and just mean business. There are those women out for a casual lunch with a friend, groups of people getting together for a quick "healthy' lunch. Many people sitting here like me with a laptop. I wonder if most of the people are working or doing homework. Or are they just trying to look important with their laptop. I doubt most of them come like I do. I like to be around people, even if I am not part of their conversations. I get things done and just enjoy the atmosphere. I suppose it is similar to a coffee shop. I don't know of any coffee shops around here that I could just sit and chill. Plus, I am not a big fan of coffee.

I am determined to get my coupons cut and organized while I am here. I have been enjoying the adventure trying to save as much money as I can. I have a friend who is really good at this and I am trying to keep up with her deals. It is a fun game. I could look for deals and coupons and such all day and not get tired of it. Too bad I cannot get paid for something like that.

I was going to bring New Moon with me to read again. I read through Twilight again. I really enjoyed reading it again after I have just seen the movie. It is easy to get the book and movie confused. I really liked the first part of Midnight Sun on Stephene Meyers website. I really wish people would not have plagiarized it so she could have finished it. It is so fun to read the Twilight book through Edward's perspective. I am really amazed to how much the series captured my life. I have never read anything like that before. I finished the whole series in a week and a half. I do not read...I only read if I have to, especially if it is for enjoyment. I think I am obsessed with it a little. As I read the books I could almost hear my mind narrating my life like Bella does in the book. I encourage anyone that has not read it to do so!

Well, I guess I should get to those coupons. My friend Lora is keeping tabs on my time while I am here at Panera. I am to stay at least 90 minutes. She thinks I work too much and I need to enjoy my time without the kids for myself and not just another day to get stuff done. I have an hour to go...oh boy.

Thanks for listening!

Steph

Memories of the Past

Today I woke up with lots on my mind. I cannot help but think about things that have happened in my life over the last year and a half. I don't want to share anything too personal on here so I will try to talk about my thoughts without giving much information.



The other night we watched a movie that brought up memories about some things in the past. It was difficult to watch the movie. I kept quiet and tried to enjoy it but wished I had not seen most of it. It just brought too many memories to mind. I am not going to say what the movie was. It was supposed to be a chick flick, I guess, but I didn't like it. It didn't help that I was looking on facebook at the time and saw some pictures from a friends' Fourth of July party. I enjoyed most of the pictures but there were a few that also triggered memories I did not want to think about. It was difficult and I had wished I never looked at them. I am a fan of facebook. It makes me feel a little more in touch with the friends from different places I have lived. It just stinks when you see things that cause sadness or memories you would like to forget.



Life goes on and thankfully they are just thoughts and memories to be set aside and given to God. I am thankful I can give it to God. How do you let something go when there is still something major to be dealt with? Do I write that person a letter and try to communicate? How long do I wait for communication and will it ever come? Do I even want to be contacted? I don't even know. I try to just give it to God. It is however easier said then done. Does this mean I have a lack of faith in Christ? Am I struggling with letting go and letting God be in control? I will continue to pray and ask God to make the opportunity if it is what He wants. If He does not want to provide the opportunity I pray God will take away my desire to bring it to a close.



I wonder sometimes if I have not dealt fully with everything as I should have. I felt like the problem at hand was dealt with and is repairing. I just am worried about my change/growth from the experience. Did I deal with the situation as I should have? Was I just saying words to appease others? Was the way I reacted what I thought I had to do, or what God wanted? Am I feeling all of these thoughts because I have more to do?



I know I have grown. I have learned from the past. Maybe I just need a reminder of God's love and grace and the reflection on these situations will provide it.

Lazy Days of Fall...I mean Summer.

Well, I thought I would write again today. I have wanted to write before now but just have not found the time. I am sitting outside in the backyard enjoying the quiet day at home. It feels like a Saturday. Matt is off for the 4th of July holiday. It is pretty cool outside making it feel more like a late fall day. Of course there is a swimming pool in my backyard and leaves on the trees and so forth. It just doesn't seem like it is July. I guess that is what happens when you live in Northwest Ohio.



Matt is cleaning out his tackle box to prepare for a fishing trip with his dad on Wednesday. I am glad Matt is spending time with his dad. His dad has not been feeling too well lately. It makes me nervous. He is very active and is always ready to help others. He helps mow his church's large lawn, takes care of his own yard and is always right there willing to help one of his son's with a project. I just don't want him to over do it. I just see him getting more and more tired and worn out lately. I am sure he would be upset if I was too worried about him. I just want him to be careful and not over do it. So, all of that to say, I am glad Matt has the flexibility to take a day off and spend it with his dad.

I brought two books out here to read but have not touched either of them. I feel guilty just sitting here. I have plenty to do but yet I just feel like just sitting. I struggle with not staying busy. I feel bad if I am not doing something productive. I know reading is not a bad thing. It not only shows a good example for my kids but it also is good for me. I just worry about the other many things I should be doing. I decided to write a to do list so I could start organizing the many things I have to do. Maybe writing them down would help me realize I did have time to just sit.



The kids walked the dog and now they are bored again. Makenna wants to play Wii but Ryan doesn't. I asked him to set it up for her so hopefully he will decide to play with her. I worry about Ryan sometimes. I wish he had more friends his age to play with. I gave him some ideas of kids to call. I will have to make it a priority for next week after the holiday.



I am not really sure if this is what you are supposed to do on a blog. I just thought I would write down what I was thinking and doing today. I usually don't like to just stay home but it just is comforting today. Well, I suppose I should go and do something on my to-do-list or read one of the books I brought out here. Here are a few things on my list:



Wash the kitchen floor by hand

Wash both bathroom floors by hand

Hang Spice racks in kitchen

Organize my new desk in the kitchen

Update the Willow Tree Shop website

Make telephone calls for Pampered Chef

Set a day up for candle making

Write a few thank-you notes

And so on, and so on, and so on...



Again, this is just a taste of what I should be doing. However, I will enjoy this lazy afternoon outside for a little longer. I will write more soon. Have a great 4th of July!



Steph

What Am I Doing?

I am not really sure why I am starting this blog. I guess I thought it would be good to write down my thoughts. I have tried to write my thoughts in a journal but I do not like my handwriting and my hand cramps up when I write. I am probably getting arthritis in my hands. My mom's side of the family has arthritis so I am beginning to wonder how much it will begin to bother me. I also don't like getting to the bottom of a page in a journal. It is hard to balance the book and keep my handwriting looking nice. So, I will try to write my thoughts on this blog. I don't really care if anyone reads it. I guess I keep a lot of thoughts in my head and I figured maybe if I wrote some of them down I would remember other things more easily. I can free up some space in my crowded mind.

I have been married to my husband Matt for 14 years. I have two kids and am currently living in Ohio. Our family moved to Ohio three years ago yesterday. This is probably why I have so many thoughts in my mind today. I miss so many things in PA. I know that moving here was what God wanted but it is hard to swallow sometimes. Lots has happened in my life since we have moved. Some good, some not so fun but all of the things in my life have shaped me into who I am.

I am quiet until you meet me. I wonder if people think I am snobby? Once people know me they say I am nice and sweet. I am quiet to an extent. One on one I probably would drive you crazy talking. I just don't do that well in a crowd. I just don't know what to say. How to keep the conversation going. I will start a conversation but I just don't know how to keep it going. Once you ask the basic things, I get stuck. I guess it does depend on who you are talking to. Some people have no trouble talking at all. They can monopolize the conversation and make it difficult for someone to get any words in. I find myself thinking of responses to conversation but most of the time the subject has changed before I voice my thoughts.

Like I said we moved to Ohio 3 years ago. I had lots of friends in PA. I am realizing now that some of the friendships I had there were close but not as close as I had thought. I struggle with that some days. Other friendships I had there will always remain no matter where I live and I am thankful for that. Those few friends don't care how long it has been since we talked. They pick up right where we were the next time you connect. Life is busy and I appreciate the true friendship they offer. I truly miss them almost every day. I went to a wonderful church and was involved in many areas of ministry. I loved being apart of the Worship team there. I felt at home when I was at church. I am starting to feel a little better at the church we go to now. It takes a long time. I still feel like an outsider quite a bit of the time. I think part of it is my "quietness" and part of it is people's inibility to know that people like me might want someone to talk to. I heard it takes 3-5 years to feel at home in a new place. I have hit the 3 years so I assume it will continue to get easier each day.

I have made a few friends here in Ohio. One friendship has been getting stronger and I thank God for that. I know some people are perfectly happy being home and doing things on their own. I just crave friendship and companionship. I like to be with other people. I am excited to see where God will take this friendship, I really am. She was the first person to text me just to say hi. There was nothing she needed. She just said "How's your day?". That was it. I started to cry as soon as I got that text. Someone just wanted to know how I was, nothing else. I told her about that the other day. She really had no idea how much it meant to me and always will!

Well, I guess I should get going. I need to get my kids in bed. They watched a movie on the Disney channel and are now dragging their feet getting into bed. I think my son has an ear infection so tonight may be a long night.

I like writing so far...but this is the first time. I have no idea if I will continue but for now this is MUCH better than writing in a journal.

Thanks for listening!

Steph